It was not very pleasant when I first considered to do a reflection of my past 2016, as I immediately thought of the tasks I decided to accomplish this year but in the end just made a little effort if at all. For example, I registered two certifications to acquire this year with Coursera, but never really finished those – I did pay my tuition in order to be emotionally/economically attached. I wasn’t determined to change my job from the beginning of the year, although fancied it from time to time, but still I went to interviews after being referred to by my recruiters – all failed, as I was never fully prepared and determined.
All those thoughts made me very upset, as I realized I might have spent a very wasteful 2016 with all my indetermination. I stayed away from the topic for a few days, and when I decided to pick it up, it was already 2017. So now I have to pretend I were still in 2016, trying to summarize my year before turning a new page into 2017. It is called procrastination.
It also sounds a little like time travel, since at this moment, when I am typing, my mind is actually in a status as if it were still two days ago; while my conscious self tells me not to, my spirit travels back to the past and represent the old self, in a pitiful tone, regretting what a low productive year I had been through. It is just like the movie I watched just now, or the first movie of a trilogy which I watched last, in which all the drama and conflicts shown in the later two movies were finally explained to me in the first movie, or rather given the hints of all the unavoidable to me from the beginning of the story at last. I kind of feel lucky for the order in which I watched the movies. When I watched the ending of the first movie, when the two parted without exchanging contacts info but only a date promised in a half year, each on their way to the end of their journey, not knowing they were going to miss the promise, but still to meet and fall in love again 10 years later, and eventually to be tied up and become a tired couple. Their journeys seem so innocent and so comforting to me, knowing that all begins with romance and beautiful coincidences although reality is hard.
Back to the reality of my 2016 reflection. Now that I look back, the year of 2016 may not be that bad: I tried new things, and were able to tell myself if I should continue some of them or not, and in the end gave myself a new target for the coming (came already) year with all the lessons learned considered. I might be able to achieve something in the coming (came already) 2017, or 2018 the worst case. And for those that I know I would be fine to let go, it was still worth it to try things out.
I suppose in the end, when I look back from a further future, it may just be like in the first movie that I watched at last, that all the unknowns and knowns at the time being were for a reason, and sometimes it may not even be a logical reason for the resulting future but a mere fact, that you would eventually realize that would contradict itself later on, but you still feel lucky that it was there, at that specific moment.
Now we could start talking about 2017. 🙂